Bass is best.

Slaine mac Roth · Post by **Slaine mac Roth** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 10:39 am

Perhaps we should pass this onto the man:

For all of you out there who have asked, here are 10 good reasons why Bass players Rule'

1. Bass players are economical (has usually had the same battery in tuner since new)

2. The bass player is the only member of the band able to talk on a mobile, drink beer, have a cigarette and chat up a member of the audience during the opening number

3. The bass player can solve any instrument problem, mechanical or electrical, using only a beer mat, fag lighter and gaffer tape

4. A bass player is always available to advise the drummer on the correct tempo for any song

5. Bass players may only have 4 strings but they are longer and thicker than the other guitarists

6. Bass players are allowed to sleep during the slower numbers

7. Bass players are allowed to slap their instruments

8. Bass players always have an amp bigger than one person can carry

9. Bass players are always very professional, they can begin the 2nd set with a smile despite losing strap, lead and then forgetting to turn Amp on

10. A bass player can do a walking bass line without ever moving his feet

Sir Myghin · Post by **Sir Myghin** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 2:05 pm

that rocks big

*Lifesonite · Post by *Lifesonite » Fri Jul 23, 2004 10:32 pm

He called all of you fags.

happysmilies007 · Post by **happysmilies007** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 10:57 pm

all those apply to me..except #s 2 & 3. i am sooooooo not a multi-tasker!! #3 depends on the situation!

but otherwise..that's me in a nutshell!

it's DEFINITELY Geddy!

carolynn

Slaine mac Roth · Post by **Slaine mac Roth** » Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:58 am

*Lifesonite wrote:He called all of you fags.

Are you taking into account that is a British list and that, over here, a fag is another name for a cigarette?

*Lifesonite · Post by *Lifesonite » Sat Jul 24, 2004 4:11 pm

I did, but then I discarded it as nonsense and posted my statement.

Sir Myghin · Post by **Sir Myghin** » Sat Jul 24, 2004 8:29 pm

... hoser, whats a beer mat and gaffer tape? electrical tap anda coaster?

Slaine mac Roth · Post by **Slaine mac Roth** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 1:27 am

A beer mat is a type of coaster that is found in British pubs. They're made of cardboard and usually advertise the brewery that owns the pub or anti-drink driving warnings.

Gaffer (or gaffa) tape is that silver (or black) cloth based tape that I think you call duct tape.

Sir Myghin · Post by **Sir Myghin** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:34 am

i see canadians can also fix anything with gaffer tape lol

Slaine mac Roth · Post by **Slaine mac Roth** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:47 am

I used to work in a music shop abd, before it was rennovated, the entire place seemed to be held together with gaffa tape.

Sir Myghin · Post by **Sir Myghin** » Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:29 am

heh, thats a good laugh, i'd hate to see someone who repairs a patch cord with gaffer tape as opposed to soldering it though

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 8:46 am

That is so funny! I have a bunch of old bass player jokes.

Slaine mac Roth · Post by **Slaine mac Roth** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:51 am

Kares4Rush wrote:That is so funny! I have a bunch of old bass player jokes.

Well, don't keep them to yourself

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 1:26 pm

OK, but I warned you they're old...

Manager (to bass player chasing and screaming at a roadie around the stage before a show): "What is going on here!!!"

Bass player: "This roadie knocked one of my strings out of tune!"

Manager: "Soo what's the problem? Just re-tune it!"

Bass player: "He won't tell me which one!"

Nyuk nyuk nyuk

OK:

Q: How do you get a bass player off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: (from a drummer--not me) How do you keep a bass player from staggering around on your front porch?
A: Shoot him again!

Q: (from drummer again) How do you make a bass player feel useful to the band?
A: Tip him for the soda he brings you.

Wha wha whaaaaa

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 2:13 pm

I must have H pur her bass player jokes here.

I remember this one:

What has half a brain and 8 strings?

Two bassits!

And this:

What happended when the bassist do when he locked his keys in the car?

It took him two hours to ged the vocalist out!