The Joke thread

[Walkinghairball]

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here you go.

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven ...which part
of your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"
Suzie replied, "... Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in >front of you and God just takes your hands first!"

"What a wonderful answer!" the Nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's
your legs".

The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy'sbedroom the other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'O God, I'm coming!'

If Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted

[3 travelers]

That infected one was a bit nasty, I still laughed though and good for the little old lady I hope I do the same

You Think You Have Problems?"

A little guy is sitting at a local bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver sits down next to him, grabs his drink
and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying!"

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss
fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my
wallet was still in the cab.

At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the
damn poison!"
What a bad day!!!

That's great,brother.... we have some comedy team between you and Hairy...

[Me]

Excellent WHB keep them coming

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

[schuette]

I thought it was funny Me till I went to the Take Action bit...........is that for real?

[3 travelers]

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here you go.

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven ...which part
of your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"
Suzie replied, "... Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in >front of you and God just takes your hands first!"

"What a wonderful answer!" the Nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's
your legs".

The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy'sbedroom the other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'O God, I'm coming!'

If Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted

[Walkinghairball]

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted "Well then, maybe I'll just go
out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and
give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep
in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With
lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the
slimy bank of the swamp.
Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out ...
"SHIT... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"

[schuette]

hahahahahahahaha.............that was funny

[3 travelers]

You just gotta love blonde jokes.....

[3 travelers]

You just gotta love blonde jokes.....

[3 travelers]

Fuckin' double post....

[schuette]

we never noticed

[Me]

I can always count on Hairy for a smile, thanks dude!

[Walkinghairball]

Anytime bub, anytime.

[Walkinghairball]

A chicken farmer went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a woman patron and orders a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
He turned to her and said, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me; I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. They clinked glasses and he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"That's great!" says the woman, "how did your chickens become fertile?"
" I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.

[3 travelers]

You never disappoint, Hairy.