Thoughts, Theories and Ponderables

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:34 pm

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:37 pm

How is it possible to have a civil war?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:39 pm

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:40 pm

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:41 pm

Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:42 pm

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:47 pm

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:49 pm

Can you push a car uphill with a rope?

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Tue May 27, 2008 10:49 pm

Can you climb a mountain in a sailboat?

YYZ30 · Post by **YYZ30** » Wed May 28, 2008 5:00 am

awip2062 wrote:Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why does the word "fiancee" look a lot like "finance"?

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed May 28, 2008 6:02 am

A worldwide survey was recently conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

In Africa they didn't know what 'FOOD' meant...

In India they didn't know what 'HONEST' meant...

In Europe they didn't know what 'SHORTAGE' meant...

In China they didn't know what 'OPINION' meant...

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'SOLUTION' meant...

In South America they didn't know what 'PLEASE' meant ...AND:

In the USA they didn't know what 'THE REST OF THE WORLD' meant.

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Wed May 28, 2008 7:59 am

People on a ROLL here!!!

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Wed May 28, 2008 8:23 am

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed May 28, 2008 9:48 am

Two Radical Arab Terrorists recently boarded a flight out of London.

One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat...

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was
settling in - when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and
get a coke.'

'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and
spit in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks
good, I'd really like one, too.'

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone, the
other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spit in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and
knew immediately what had happened:

'Why does it have to be this way?' he asked.

'How long must this go on?

'This fighting between our nations?'

'This hatred? This animosity?'

'This spitting in shoes - and pissing in cokes?'

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:36 am

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value."

-- Albert Einstein