I was walking across a bridge one day and a man was about to jump off and I stopped him and said, "Sir, have you nothing to live for?"
And he replied, "No, I think God has forgotten me.
"
I said, "So you are a Christian?"
He said, "Why yes.
"
And I said "What kind, Baptist or Catholic or Presbyterian?"
He replied, "Why Baptist of course.
"
And I was encouraged.
I said "What kind of Baptist, Southern or INdependent?"
He replied, "Independent, of course.
"
And I said, "Soul Winning Independent Baptist or Calvinistic?"
He said "Soul winning of course.
"
I replied, "Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or Modest-women-in-dresses-only Baptist?"
He said "Oh, no briches in my home." (I was really encouraged.
)
So I replied, "Traditional-Music, Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or CCM listening Baptist?"
He said "Traditional only.
"
And then I said "King James Bible, Traditional-Music, Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or New Versions Baptist.
"
He said, "Why the new versions are ok in my book, that is a personal decision.
"
And I pushed him over the edge and said "Die Heretic!!!!!"
The Joke thread
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
... 
I didn't understand a word of that.Aerosmitten wrote:I was walking across a bridge one day and a man was about to jump off and I stopped him and said, "Sir, have you nothing to live for?"
And he replied, "No, I think God has forgotten me.
"
I said, "So you are a Christian?"
He said, "Why yes.
"
And I said "What kind, Baptist or Catholic or Presbyterian?"
He replied, "Why Baptist of course.
"
And I was encouraged.
I said "What kind of Baptist, Southern or INdependent?"
He replied, "Independent, of course.
"
And I said, "Soul Winning Independent Baptist or Calvinistic?"
He said "Soul winning of course.
"
I replied, "Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or Modest-women-in-dresses-only Baptist?"
He said "Oh, no briches in my home." (I was really encouraged.
)
So I replied, "Traditional-Music, Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or CCM listening Baptist?"
He said "Traditional only.
"
And then I said "King James Bible, Traditional-Music, Women-wearing-pants Soul Winning Independent-Baptist, or New Versions Baptist.
"
He said, "Why the new versions are ok in my book, that is a personal decision.
"
And I pushed him over the edge and said "Die Heretic!!!!!"
When evil is allowed to compete with good, evil has an emotional populist appeal that wins out unless good men & women stand as a vanguard against abuse.
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Basically, this one guy is suicidal and another guy comes along.
The man who comes along wants to keep the first guy from killing himself.
He finds out they are both Christians and starts asking questions to see how much of the non-essential religious garbage each of them agree on.
He finds out they agree on most every nit-picking thing, but when he finds that the suicidal man disagrees with him on one little item, BAM! He becomes a murderer and kills the other.
It is a sad commentary on the multitude of denominations and the in-fighting amongst so-called Christians.
The man who comes along wants to keep the first guy from killing himself.
He finds out they are both Christians and starts asking questions to see how much of the non-essential religious garbage each of them agree on.
He finds out they agree on most every nit-picking thing, but when he finds that the suicidal man disagrees with him on one little item, BAM! He becomes a murderer and kills the other.
It is a sad commentary on the multitude of denominations and the in-fighting amongst so-called Christians.
Last edited by awip2062 on Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Onward and Upward!
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
