A lot of you folks have already seen this. But I thought it might be fun to share with you By-Torians who haven't. I used to love practical jokes, but backed off them when people's feelings got hurt. But hey, why not humiliate a lying theif if you can?
I'm sure you've all received one of those e-mails where someone in Africa writes to you, and he's got millions of dollars that he needs to get out of the country and he tells you that if he can transfer it to your bank account he'll give you a percentage of the loot. Then they say they need some sort of a transfer probate fee or something and get a few thousand dollars out of some poor sucker (after all, what's a few thousand when you're about to make millions?) and then they vanish. Most of these scams come from Nigeria. They're refered to as 419 scams because of the section of the Nigerian penal code under which they fall. Well, I decided to have fun with one of these guys. It's been going on for a couple of days, and I think I'll post the events here as they happen.
I'll put everything he sends me in a quote box and everything I send to him in italics, just to keep things easy. If I have any comments to throw in I'll put them in brackets [like this]. The fun begins in the next post.
Scamming the scammers
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
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ElfDude
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Scamming the scammers
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
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I get the usual scam letter.
Well, Mr. Toho.
I don't know who you are or how you got my personal e-mail address, but that
sounds like a very interesting offer.
Let me make sure I understand correctly. You have over 30 million dollars
that you want to put in my back account, and for me letting you put that
money in my account you'll give me 30% of it? What's in it for you?
Before my husband Mashick died he and I ran a ranch here in Canada. I tried
to keep the ranch going the best I could but I'm not as young as I used to
be. When he died Mashick left me two big bank accounts. One of them is still
full, but the other one is nearly empty and I'm sure your $30 million could
fit in it just fine.
Please tell me more about how this would work.
Sincerely,
Mrs. La Grande Johnson
Think he'll buy it?
To reply, I assume the guise of a nice little old widow... La Grande Johnson. Get it?Sir,
URGENT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
Reaching you is courtesy of my favourite international business directory, which
vividly tells your position and capability to execute this business presently
with me in my office.
We have Thirty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only (US$30,
500,000.00) which we got from over inflated contracts awarded to foreign
contractors in the Federal Airport Authority of Nigeria (FAAN).
We are seeking your permission to transfer this money into your bank account.
This money will be shared between you and we (Colleagues) over here in Nigeria.
We have agreed to share the funds as follows;
I. 30% of the total sum for you (Account Owner)
II. 65% of the total sum for us (The officials involved) III. 5% of the
total sum for settling all financial expenses being incurred by you and us in
the course of this transaction.
We will visit you immediately we conclude this transaction to collect and invest
our share of the total sum into anyviable business you may advise in
your country.
Please let me know if you are interested in this business by replying urgently.
Full details of this business shall be sent to you upon receipt of your reply.
For the purpose of communication in this matter, please give us your telephone
and fax numbers including your private home telephone number.
We await your urgent reply and be rest assured that this transaction is 100%
risk free, there is no risk an both sides.
Yours faithfully,
Sam Toho
Well, Mr. Toho.
I don't know who you are or how you got my personal e-mail address, but that
sounds like a very interesting offer.
Let me make sure I understand correctly. You have over 30 million dollars
that you want to put in my back account, and for me letting you put that
money in my account you'll give me 30% of it? What's in it for you?
Before my husband Mashick died he and I ran a ranch here in Canada. I tried
to keep the ranch going the best I could but I'm not as young as I used to
be. When he died Mashick left me two big bank accounts. One of them is still
full, but the other one is nearly empty and I'm sure your $30 million could
fit in it just fine.
Please tell me more about how this would work.
Sincerely,
Mrs. La Grande Johnson
Think he'll buy it?
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
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You bet he will! Within an hour he writes back... for some reason the e-mail says it comes from Mobi Cesse, but he still signs it as Sam Toho...
I'm sorry to be slow in responding, Sam is it? Or Mobi? I'm not sure to whom
I'm writing now. I can be a little forgetful sometimes. I'm not as young as
I used to be. I wasn't able to respond right away because we had a little
bit of trouble on the ranch. The ranch is much smaller than it used to be
when my husband, Mashick, was alive. But we still have a few jackelopes and
I sell one or two from time to time. People will still pay a lot of money
for jackelopes. Do they have jackelopes where you are in Nigeria? If not,
I'll attach a photograph. It's an older picture of my husband, Mashick,
holding one of our favorite jackelopes. My daughter named it Prunella. You
can tell it's a female by the small antlers. The males can have antlers that
are much larger.
Anyway, listen to me ramble on! I guess I don't have people to talk to as
much as I used to. Especially since Mashick died.
Let's see, you wanted to know my bank details. I guess it's safe to give you
a bank account number since you're going to put money into the account and
not take any out. My bank is called Flourish and Blotts. It's a very old
bank here in Canada. Their address is:
Flourish and Blotts
419 Diagon Alley
Goderich, Ontario N7A 2K5
Canada
The account number is 4504088877
By beneficiary, do you mean me? My name is La Grande Johnson.
Have you heard of Goderich? Many people say it's the prettiest town in
Canada!
I've never had a FAX machine, so I can't give you a number for that. I can't
use a telephone anymore because my hearing isn't what it used to be. I can't
hear people on the telephone anymore, so having e-mail has been quite
wonderful. I use it all the time to keep in touch with my daughter, Alotta.
She has kids you know. Sometimes I'm very sad about losing my hearing. But
it's like Mashick used to say; "You can't grow feathers on a football".
Do you have a picture of yourself that you can send me? I'd like to see the
face of the nice young man I'm dealing with.
Sincerely,
La Grande Johnson
I attach this picture:
Did I give him enuogh clues? Between the jackelopes, the "419" in the bank's address and all the Harry Potter references you'd think he might figure out that he's being baited...
Well, I let him stew for 48 hours and he sends the same e-mail to me again with the subject line, "Reminder". Time for Mrs. Johnson to reply...Dear Mrs Johnson
Thanks for your message.
I appreciates your interest to help.
The money is in the Federal Reserve Bank of
Nigeria,and all documentations relating to the
transfer are currently at our disposal.The transaction
will work in this way.
I will officially applied to the ministry of Aviation
for the release of the fund into your account as the
beneficiary of the fund,and an official payment
approval shall be granted before transfer.
The central bank of Nigeria will officially contact
you for payment as soon as the Federal ministry of
Finance give final payment approval.
Therefore,send to me your bank details where the money
will be transfered( account in red is acceptable)
your phone and fax numbers,and the name of the
beneficiary.
I shall be given you day to day progress report as the
transaction progresses,and copies of the approval
documents will be given to you as soon as they are
ready.
Due to the time frame and the period of the year,I
will like you to attend to the my correspondences fast
so that we can conclude the deal before the end of the
year.If you give me maximium support,we shall conclude
the deal before end of December 2004.
Please do send all the requested details so that I
will start processing for the transfer.
You can call me on this number.Tel+234-8023093997.
Thanks,
Sam Toho
I'm sorry to be slow in responding, Sam is it? Or Mobi? I'm not sure to whom
I'm writing now. I can be a little forgetful sometimes. I'm not as young as
I used to be. I wasn't able to respond right away because we had a little
bit of trouble on the ranch. The ranch is much smaller than it used to be
when my husband, Mashick, was alive. But we still have a few jackelopes and
I sell one or two from time to time. People will still pay a lot of money
for jackelopes. Do they have jackelopes where you are in Nigeria? If not,
I'll attach a photograph. It's an older picture of my husband, Mashick,
holding one of our favorite jackelopes. My daughter named it Prunella. You
can tell it's a female by the small antlers. The males can have antlers that
are much larger.
Anyway, listen to me ramble on! I guess I don't have people to talk to as
much as I used to. Especially since Mashick died.
Let's see, you wanted to know my bank details. I guess it's safe to give you
a bank account number since you're going to put money into the account and
not take any out. My bank is called Flourish and Blotts. It's a very old
bank here in Canada. Their address is:
Flourish and Blotts
419 Diagon Alley
Goderich, Ontario N7A 2K5
Canada
The account number is 4504088877
By beneficiary, do you mean me? My name is La Grande Johnson.
Have you heard of Goderich? Many people say it's the prettiest town in
Canada!
I've never had a FAX machine, so I can't give you a number for that. I can't
use a telephone anymore because my hearing isn't what it used to be. I can't
hear people on the telephone anymore, so having e-mail has been quite
wonderful. I use it all the time to keep in touch with my daughter, Alotta.
She has kids you know. Sometimes I'm very sad about losing my hearing. But
it's like Mashick used to say; "You can't grow feathers on a football".
Do you have a picture of yourself that you can send me? I'd like to see the
face of the nice young man I'm dealing with.
Sincerely,
La Grande Johnson
I attach this picture:
Did I give him enuogh clues? Between the jackelopes, the "419" in the bank's address and all the Harry Potter references you'd think he might figure out that he's being baited...
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
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I guess not! This morning I receive his response...
Anyway, this evening Mrs. Johnson responds.
Dear Sam,
Well, my goodness. What nice things you say to me. You've brought a smile to
an old woman's face. And if this transaction you're talking about works,
I'll never have to worry about money again in my life, and I'll have
something to leave to my daughter and grandchildren when I'm gone. Bless
you.
I think I've heard of the Yankari Reserve. Yes I think Mashick's brother,
Woody, visited there once. He told us about elephants and monkeys and a
beautiful clear hot spring. He said it was wonderful! At least I think
that's the place he was talking about. My memory isn't what it used to be.
Since you are being so kind as to send me your picture, I'll send you mine
(though I'm sure you're hardly interested in seeing an old woman like me).
The attached photo was taken last spring of me with my grandchildren, Vera
and Chuck. We had hoped that some of the jackelopes would be in the picture,
but Chuck had a dirty diaper and I think the smell drove them away. They're
very sensitive to smell.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
La Grande
This picture is attached...
I'll keep you posted as the plot thickens...
Aw... what a sweet young man... NOT!!! He's gonna sweet talk the little old lady and then take her for all he can! Creep!Dear Mrs Johnson,
Please do accept my sincere sympathy for the death of
your handsome Husband.
I am concerned about your state of the mine,since I
can conclude that your late husband was a wonderful
and carering husband,full of life and I can see you
are missing him a lot.
The picture of your husband with the jacklopes reminds
me of my first visit to the Yankari Reserve.
If you permit me to work closely with you,I will
certainly add a new life to your wolrd an I belive you
will enjoy my company.
Let me assure you that your account is safe and I have
started processing for the transfer of the money into
your account.
I have today officially submmited applications to the
ministry of Fianance and the central bank of Nigeria
for approval as we have to obtain payment approval
before transfer is effected.
The central bank of Nigeria will officially contact
you for payment as soon as the approval is ready.And
the will send the copies of the payment approval
documents to you as when ready.
Please send my greetings to your Daugther and her
kids.I would have loved to speak to you on dairly
bases to keep you on and make you fill real good,but
since you problems with your hearing.I know that God
will heal you soon.
I will send you my picture tomorrow.I am 45years old.
Thanks,and remain Blessed.
Sam Toho
Anyway, this evening Mrs. Johnson responds.
Dear Sam,
Well, my goodness. What nice things you say to me. You've brought a smile to
an old woman's face. And if this transaction you're talking about works,
I'll never have to worry about money again in my life, and I'll have
something to leave to my daughter and grandchildren when I'm gone. Bless
you.
I think I've heard of the Yankari Reserve. Yes I think Mashick's brother,
Woody, visited there once. He told us about elephants and monkeys and a
beautiful clear hot spring. He said it was wonderful! At least I think
that's the place he was talking about. My memory isn't what it used to be.
Since you are being so kind as to send me your picture, I'll send you mine
(though I'm sure you're hardly interested in seeing an old woman like me).
The attached photo was taken last spring of me with my grandchildren, Vera
and Chuck. We had hoped that some of the jackelopes would be in the picture,
but Chuck had a dirty diaper and I think the smell drove them away. They're
very sensitive to smell.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
La Grande
This picture is attached...
I'll keep you posted as the plot thickens...
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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Kares4Rush
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ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
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I hadn't heard from him for a couple of days so I finally sent out a
Sam, I haven't heard from you in a few days. Is everything all right? note.
The next morning I got this in return:
I think it highly unlikely that these are actually pictures of the author of the e-mail. He may be stupid, but he's not THAT stupid.
The bank will contact me for payment? What is this payment? I thought they were just going to fill my bank account with money! :huh:
I'll have to ponder on my reply...
Sam, I haven't heard from you in a few days. Is everything all right? note.
The next morning I got this in return:
These pics were attached...Dear Mrs Johnson,
Thanks for the wonderful message you sent to me and
your lovely photo with your grand children.
Sorry for the delay,I went to my local Town to see my
GrandMother who is almost the same age with you.
I enjoy company of old people expecially women.They
tell good stories with sweet memories.I will enjoy to
be with you and I am looking forward the day to meet
with you.
The attached copy is my photo and that of my Friends.
Please if you receive any document from the bank
please do inform as the central bank of Nigeria will
contact you directly for payment.
I will not be opportuned to see the approval documents
as they will send it directly to you as the
beneficiary of the fund.
Thanks and remain Blessed,
Sam Toho
I think it highly unlikely that these are actually pictures of the author of the e-mail. He may be stupid, but he's not THAT stupid.
The bank will contact me for payment? What is this payment? I thought they were just going to fill my bank account with money! :huh:
I'll have to ponder on my reply...
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
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Two days later the following arrived...
Hello, Sam. I'm sorry I didn't respond right away.
I did get your letter and your pictures. I was very happy to see them. Thank
you so much for sending them! You do look like a very nice young man. And
that was so nice of you to visit your grandmother. She's a lucky lady and
I'm sure you make her very proud.
Who is the man in blue in that one picture? He looks like he might be
royalty!
The other man next to him reminds me of the man who used to mow my lawn and
sometimes clean out my garage. I remember one time after he had been
cleaning out the garage my daughter went in there and found a stack of
pornographic magazines! I don't know why he didn't clean them out with the
other trash. Come to think of it, I don't know how they would have gotten in
there in the first place. Maybe I just didn't see them. My eyes aren't what
they used to be!
The bank has not yet contacted me, but I can be patient. Thank you so much
for this opportunity! May God bless you!
La Grande
La Grande responds:Dear Mrs Johnson,
I hope you are fine.
I sent you my pictures,but could not hear from you.
Please write me to confirm the receipt of the letter.
Have you been contacted by the central bank of Nigeria
for payment advice?.
Thanks and remain Blessed
Sam Toho
Hello, Sam. I'm sorry I didn't respond right away.
I did get your letter and your pictures. I was very happy to see them. Thank
you so much for sending them! You do look like a very nice young man. And
that was so nice of you to visit your grandmother. She's a lucky lady and
I'm sure you make her very proud.
Who is the man in blue in that one picture? He looks like he might be
royalty!
The other man next to him reminds me of the man who used to mow my lawn and
sometimes clean out my garage. I remember one time after he had been
cleaning out the garage my daughter went in there and found a stack of
pornographic magazines! I don't know why he didn't clean them out with the
other trash. Come to think of it, I don't know how they would have gotten in
there in the first place. Maybe I just didn't see them. My eyes aren't what
they used to be!
The bank has not yet contacted me, but I can be patient. Thank you so much
for this opportunity! May God bless you!
La Grande
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
-
ElfDude
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- Contact:
This was all taking place in late December, by the way. On Christmas Eve La Grande seems to be feeling the spirit of the season...
By the way, Sam, I do want to wish you a very merry Christmas! I don't know how you celebrate Christmas in Nigeria, but I hope it's a wonderful time for you! You've made this a very special season for me!
La Grande
By the way, Sam, I do want to wish you a very merry Christmas! I don't know how you celebrate Christmas in Nigeria, but I hope it's a wonderful time for you! You've made this a very special season for me!
La Grande
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
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Three days later he responded. Is it just me, or is he not being as cordial as before?
Sam,
I had a Merry Christmas and I hope you did too. On Sunday morning I was
watching that Mormon Tabernacle Choir show on TV. Do you get their broadcast
where you are? Anyway, they sang a Nigerian Christmas carol! I think it was
called Betelehemu. I'm probably not spelling it right. My eyes aren't what
they used to be. But they had lots of drummers with them and it sounded
beautiful and it made me think of you.
It looks like I have an e-mail from someone here now. I haven't read it yet
but the subject line says, "Payment Advice" so it must be from your friends
at the bank. I'll go read it now.
Please write back soon, Sam! Your e-mails always bring a smile to this old
face!
La Grande
The old gal responds with:Dear Mrs johnson,
Compliment of the season.
I am wishing you good Health,very best of
Christmas,and the best of New year.
Christmas in Nigeria is a wonderfull season and it is
always well celebrated.
Please do confirm if you have received the payment
advice from the bank.
Thanks,
Sam Toho
Sam,
I had a Merry Christmas and I hope you did too. On Sunday morning I was
watching that Mormon Tabernacle Choir show on TV. Do you get their broadcast
where you are? Anyway, they sang a Nigerian Christmas carol! I think it was
called Betelehemu. I'm probably not spelling it right. My eyes aren't what
they used to be. But they had lots of drummers with them and it sounded
beautiful and it made me think of you.
It looks like I have an e-mail from someone here now. I haven't read it yet
but the subject line says, "Payment Advice" so it must be from your friends
at the bank. I'll go read it now.
Please write back soon, Sam! Your e-mails always bring a smile to this old
face!
La Grande
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
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ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:19 pm
- Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills
- Contact:
The same day La Grande received this:
Dr. Ibrahim,
I'm so glad you wrote to me!
No, I haven't received any sort of documents. The only person I've heard from is your friend, Mr. Toho. He's such a nice young man. He's been very kind to an old lady like me. I don't remember getting anything from anyone else in Africa. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I'm sure I'd remember that. Like my poor deceased husband, Mashick, used to say, "Women don't forget nothin' if there's somethin' in it fer them!"
As I explained to Mr. Toho, I've never owned a FAX machine so I can't give you a FAX number. Would you be so kind as to try e-mailing them to me again?
Thank you so much for your patience and your help.
Sincerely,
Mrs. La Grande Johnson
La Grande responds:Attn La Grande Johnson,
We are suprise to hear that you have not recived the payment approval documents that was sent to you via attachment.
If you are claiming that you did not receive it,kindly provide us with your fax numbers.
It was confirmed that you got the message by our activity report from the server.
We advice you to reconfirm to us if you have recived the documents as arrangments to transfer your fund is almost concluded.
Yours faithfully,
Dr Musa Ibrahim
Dr. Ibrahim,
I'm so glad you wrote to me!
No, I haven't received any sort of documents. The only person I've heard from is your friend, Mr. Toho. He's such a nice young man. He's been very kind to an old lady like me. I don't remember getting anything from anyone else in Africa. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I'm sure I'd remember that. Like my poor deceased husband, Mashick, used to say, "Women don't forget nothin' if there's somethin' in it fer them!"
As I explained to Mr. Toho, I've never owned a FAX machine so I can't give you a FAX number. Would you be so kind as to try e-mailing them to me again?
Thank you so much for your patience and your help.
Sincerely,
Mrs. La Grande Johnson
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
-
ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
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- Contact:
Another note from Sam the next day:
Anyway, the old girl is a little concerned about her note from the bank. She writes back to Sam:
Sam,
In that e-mail that the bank sent me, they told me that they had already
sent me the forms! I told them that I hadn't received anything from them,
and asked if they could please send them again. Have you had any trouble
with them before?
I hope they don't mind sending the forms again.
La Grande
Getting a little cheeky, isn't he? I don't recall inviting him to come and visit me and take me site seeing...Dear Mrs Johnson,
Thanks for your response.
You have made my year as I received the good news from
you that the bank has finally contacted you for
payment.
I am thinking that you should give me a few details as
when the bank will tranfer the money into your
account.
How I wish to be there in Canada for the new
year,atleast to take you out for site scene or
Cinema/movies.But we can always have some good times
as soon as the money is transfered.
Please do keep in contact with the bank.
Thanks and remain Blessed.
Sam Toho
Anyway, the old girl is a little concerned about her note from the bank. She writes back to Sam:
Sam,
In that e-mail that the bank sent me, they told me that they had already
sent me the forms! I told them that I hadn't received anything from them,
and asked if they could please send them again. Have you had any trouble
with them before?
I hope they don't mind sending the forms again.
La Grande
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
-
ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:19 pm
- Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills
- Contact:
Sam offers some words of comfort:
Yeah, they'll send it soon, and likely they'll send it from the same computer as your e-mails!Dear Mrs Johnson,
It is nice to read your message today.
Thanks for your understanding.
The bank will have to resend it again to you.
They are very nice people of so many years of
experience in the banking industry.
I belive they will send it soon.
Thanks and stay Healthy.
Sam Toho
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
-
ElfDude
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- Contact:
The next day Dr. Ibrahim at "the bank" writes back:
He attaches three badly forged documents (even worse than Dan Rather's). Since they're big, I'll just show you this one.Attn La Grande Johnson,
The attached files are the final payment approvals.
You are expected to come to Nigeria to sign for the authorization documents that will permit the central bank of Nigeria to transfer your fund into your account in Canada.Or alternatively you request the bank to send the documents to your base for signing and return the same to us at your own cost.
We expect you to treat this letter with urgency as we have concluded arrangments to transfer your money before we close for the year.
If you choose to receive the documents in your Home in Canada,you will have to send to us your mailing address,not P.O.Box as we have an existing arrangments with DHL courier service.And you MUST pay for the COST including the Refundable Security Deposit.{$950}
Your faithfully,
Dr Musa Ibrahim,
Director of International Remmitance Dept.
NB:I have decided to attach the files/documents through my personal box,since all attempt to send it to you was difficult fo you to receive.
Please send your response to the bank addresswhich you have previously used to write us.
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?