By-Tor.com

A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where BHO is trying to
gather support for his Public Option Health Plan.

Once he discovers the cowboy is from George W. Bush's hometown, he
starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable
words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing
around his head.

The cowboy says, "Ya havin' a problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called,
but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Wellsir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang 'round ranches....

They're called circle flies because they're almost alwees found
circlin' 'round the south end of a north bound horse."

"Oh," Obama replies - as he goes back to rambling.

But, a moment later he catches the apparent snipe, stops and bluntly asks:

"Are you calling me a horse's ass"?

"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of
this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds, and begins rambling on once
more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says:

"Hard to fool them flies, though."

^^ haha

Hey - that WAS good for a chuckle, wasn't it!

Happy Friday, Myg.

CygnusX1 wrote:Hey - that WAS good for a chuckle, wasn't it!

Happy Friday, Myg.

happy friday indeed, now if only my economics prof didn't have me writing a test tomorrow MORNING.

Test.............on Saturday????


What the flunk?!?!?!?!

Gubmint and How Gubmint Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So
they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without
instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two
people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do
time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the
tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and
hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So They
created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer,
Then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal
Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one
Year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.




NOW slowly, let it sink in.

Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter.





Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of
the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY.... during the Carter Administration?

Anybody?

Anything?

No?

Didn't think so!

Bottom line. We've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of
an agency...the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember!

Ready??


It was very simple...and at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate.





The Department of Energy was instituted on 8-04-1977.
TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.





Hey, pretty efficient, huh???

AND NOW IT'S 2009 -- 32 YEARS LATER -- AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS "NECESSARY" DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. THEY HAVE 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES; AND LOOK AT THE JOB THEY HAVE DONE! THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Ah, yes -- good ole bureaucracy.

AND, NOW, WE ARE GOING TO TURN THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE, AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY OVER TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT?





HELLOOO! Anybody Home?

Obama Named Country Music Entertainer of the Year

Surprise Selection Shocks Nashville


NASHVILLE (The Borowitz Report) - President Barack Obama stunned the
country music world today by picking up its highest honor, Country Music
Entertainer of the Year.

Mr. Obama was chosen unanimously, according to the Country Music
Association, beating out such favorite as Carrie Underwood and
Toby Keith.

In Nashville , country music insiders were shocked by Mr. Obama's
selection, given that he has only been in office for eight months and
during that time has yet to record a single country song.

But Mr. Obama was gracious in receiving the honor, saying that he
was "honored and humbled" by the award - before excusing himself to
accept this year's Heisman Trophy.

Little Johnny:



The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who
said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny, a bright Navajo
Indian boy, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good! Who said, "Government of the People, by the People, for the
People, shall not perish from the Earth?'"

Again, no response except from Little Johnny.. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Little
Johnny knows more about history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Indians."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Little Johnny put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared around and asked, "All right!!! Now who said that!?"

Again, Little Johnny said, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister,1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say
anything else, I'll kill you."

Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson
to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
"Oh shit, we're screwed!"

Little Johnny said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008"

^^^^^^

^^^

^^^

Ain't that the truth!

Thanks Marn . . . too funny!

If there was any question left in anyone's mind of whether or not President Obama is evil, let this end any and all indecision:

http://blogs.mcall.com/capitol_ideas/2009/11/the.html

President Barack Obama ...
... is slated to deliver a prime-time address on Tuesday night...

...

But the administration may also face an unforeseen enemy as it lays out its long-awaited plans. And they are loud and they are legion: We're talking about preschoolers and their parents.

That's because ABC-TV was scheduled to present its annual screening of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" at 8 p.m. tomorrow night. And we don't know about you, but that show is pretty sacrosanct around our house and not to be trifled with lightly.

A call to the White House may be in order here. We hear it's pretty easy to get through these days ...

Dude....that's virtual blaspemy!

I remember when "A Charlie Brown Christmas" used to be shown on CBS
when it was sponsored by Coca Cola.

Ah, those were the days.

A U.S. Army cadet reads a book entitled "Kill Bin Laden" as he waits with other cadets for U.S. President Barack Obama to deliver an address on U.S. policy and the war in Afghanistan at the U.S. Military Academy in West Point, New York December 1, 2009.

Personally, I get a kick out of the face the cadet on the right is making. Trying to figure out what he's thinking...