Thoughts, Theories and Ponderables

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:23 pm

^^^^^^^^^
LOL!!!

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:13 am

^^^

^^^

I think she nailed us! D'OH!

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:02 pm

Wanna see what's haunted in YOUR state?

Check this out to search for haunted sites where YOU live!

http://theshadowlands.net/places/

(I checked my state out and according to what I've heard it's fairly accurate.)

***hears noises*** What was THAT?

I gotta go.....y'all be careful!

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:29 am

URINE TESTS AND THE WELFARE STATE

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the
government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass
a random urine test, with which I have no problem.

What I DO have a problem with - is the distribution of
my taxes to people who DON'T have to pass a urine
test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare
check - because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people
get back on their feet.

I DO, however, have a problem with helping someone on
welfare, sitting on their ASS, doing drugs - while we work.

Can you imagine how much money the state(s) would save
if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance
check?

Think, ponder and pass this along if you agree.

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:41 am

No, I don't F'ing agree that you have to take a pisser just to get the money back that you loaned the government in the first place! In fact, it's ironically gotten ME kinda pissed (pun intended.)
Being a person that doesn't believe that weed should be illegal, I find it appalling that they have come up with a way to rip people off this way.

What state do you live in, buddy?

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:46 am

No no no Owl.

He is talking about the welfare crack mamas and other welfare losers out there that collect the sit on my ass check for nothing, while we hard working peeps have to piss in a cup to get and keep the job that earns them the check in the first place.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:59 am

Big Blue Owl wrote:No, I don't F'ing agree that you have to take a pisser just to get the money back that you loaned the government in the first place! In fact, it's ironically gotten ME kinda pissed (pun intended.)
Being a person that doesn't believe that weed should be illegal, I find it appalling that they have come up with a way to rip people off this way.

What state do you live in, buddy?

It's just the idleness of some folks. Looking for a handout...

Not even WILLING to apply for a job, as long as the checks keep coming.

Unwed teen girls having 10 children - fathered by ten different thugs,
and using "the system" to get PAID.

We ALL know someone who abuses it.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:12 am

Walkinghairball wrote:No no no Owl.

He is talking about the welfare crack mamas and other welfare losers out there that collect the sit on my ass check for nothing, while we hard working peeps have to piss in a cup to get and keep the job that earns them the check in the first place.

thankyeeeeew....

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:01 am

See...
What I did...
I thought he meant that in his state he had to pee to get his Income Tax check

Which of course would be ridiculous...

Well, that's my jelly-brained move for the day! Whew! Glad I got that out of the way early

He is talking about the welfare crack mamas and other welfare losers out there that collect the sit on my ass check for nothing, while we hard working peeps have to piss in a cup to get and keep the job that earns them the check in the first place.

Oh yeah, I hates 'em doin' that as well. Welfare, Schmelfare. If I can move my butt to get to work every day at Hate O'Clock in the morning, anyone can!

Carry on...

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:43 am

Thanks for a chuckle, you guys.

Sir Myghin · Post by **Sir Myghin** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:52 pm

Big Blue Owl wrote:

He is talking about the welfare crack mamas and other welfare losers out there that collect the sit on my ass check for nothing, while we hard working peeps have to piss in a cup to get and keep the job that earns them the check in the first place.
Oh yeah, I hates 'em doin' that as well. Welfare, Schmelfare. If I can move my butt to get to work every day at Hate O'Clock in the morning, anyone can!

Carry on...

I like that one, unfortunately there are alot of us up well before then , although I am not currently working (boo studentness)

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:19 pm

I thought this was hilarious! If anyone is offended by it perhaps Hairy can move it to Adult section but I'm hoping it's "safe" enough for you people to handle.

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .Best,Wendi AaronsAustin , TX

Middle Kingdom · Post by **Middle Kingdom** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:40 pm

I just got this email today.

The girls at work loved it.

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:43 pm

Nope, not movin it.

Is it ok to laugh now????

Not at what the lady has gone thru, but at how composed she was even though she wanted to apply a rectum stretcher on that guy.

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:56 pm

Walkinghairball wrote: but at how composed she was even though she wanted to apply a rectum stretcher on that guy.

OMG!!!

That is the funniest visual I've had all day!!!

I especially identified with her saying she wanted to reach inside her body and yank our her uteris.