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Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:43 pm
by Big Blue Owl
Hey, I want a piece! And I want it now! :lol: :downtown:

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:49 pm
by Sir Myghin
Big Blue Owl wrote:Hey, I want a piece! And I want it now! :lol: :downtown:
lol, nasty

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:10 am
by CygnusX1
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the
White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared-away Marine sentry assigned to his flight crew snapped to
attention, crisply salutes and says: "Nice pigs, sir."

The President replied, "These are not pigs...these are authentic Arkansas
Razorback Hogs.

I got one for Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, and I got one for Speaker
of The House, Nancy Pelosi."

The squared-away Marine again snapped to attention, saluted and
said, "Excellent trade, Sir."

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:31 pm
by Sir Myghin
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!"

George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!"

Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:49 pm
by Walkinghairball
^^^

I just pee'd a little while LMMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:26 am
by CygnusX1
Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Barney Frank: GOP Suffers From "A Pyschological Disorder"
Posted by: Greg Hengler at 6:39 PM

What lead to Barney Frank's insult on the House floor today was criticism
from Rep. John Culberson (R-TX) about the limited time Democrats
allowed Congress to read the 1000-plus page stimulus bill.

Culberson said this permitted the AIG bonuses.

Frank fired back, saying "Democrats were trying to fix the original
stimulus bill with the five-page bill currently up on the floor."

Cyg's take: Yeah, right. I have some oceanfront property in Arizona too.
Want some?
(We know it was so Dodd could "doctor it up" a little, you know - throw in
some last-minute kickbacks - I mean - bonuses.)
:wink:

Frank finally stated that the GOP criticisms came from "a psychological
disorder I am not equipped to diagnose."

HILARIOUS! I think I broke a rib. :oops: :lol:

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:57 am
by CygnusX1
Public Service Announcement

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the
mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when
symptoms occur:

"My financial and personal well-being are totally in the hands of Barack
Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm
Emmanuel, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd and Al Gore."


If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to
be full of poo for the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing a
public service.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:40 am
by Walkinghairball
^^^

That was a crappy thing to say. :razz: :lol:

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:59 am
by Big Blue Owl
Bag it up and send it to Bildo!
Image

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 8:42 pm
by zepboy
*Subject:* Divorce Agreement


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of
this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the
sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run
its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will
not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly
terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass
each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that,
it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such
distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns
and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the
military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell
(You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle
big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the
hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep
the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have
the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of
life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also
have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare
is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the
Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba
Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle
up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not
agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll
bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:00 am
by CygnusX1
That was well said....but we will keep the strategic nukes too.

God knows we'll need 'em sooner or later (since PRK and Iran will be
playing soon), but hide 'em quickly - Obama wants OURS gone.

Talk about bad timing...Yikes! :roll:

Oh, we'll take the Christians, too. Don't forget them, even though some
are trying really hard!

Got Tea Party?

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:09 am
by Big Blue Owl
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like minded liberal and conservative patriots
Nearly a deal.

Proviso:

We get north, you get south. We get the nukes. You get nuked. ImageImage

Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:22 am
by Soup4Rush
For some reason I thought this was tried in 1860. I can't remember how that turned out though. :razz:

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:58 am
by Big Blue Owl
Political-casual

Image
FDR Wearing a wife-beater in a swimming hole.

Image
Eleanor Roosevelt with suspected boy-toy both on left.

Image
JFK in the military

Image
Chairman Mao

Image
Nixon

Image
Ford

Image
Ron and Nancy

Image
Bill and Hillary

Image
Giuliani in drag

Image
McCain joking that, even laying down he is taller than his captors

Image
Kerry from the black lagoon

Image
Putin whipping his rod

Image
Barry on Baywatch

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:52 am
by awip2062
No wonder my mom's generation drooled over JFK.