Reminds me of someone I know
I suffer from CRS--Can't remember Sh*t
The Joke thread
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does.
Johnny raises his hand and says, "You're wrong, Miss Finch!"
"Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?"replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch.
The neighbors' Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went 'fffff! fffff! fffff!', and before he could say 'Fuck!',........... the dog ate him!"
Johnny raises his hand and says, "You're wrong, Miss Finch!"
"Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?"replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch.
The neighbors' Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went 'fffff! fffff! fffff!', and before he could say 'Fuck!',........... the dog ate him!"
This space for rent
SH-WEEEET!!good one HB...I got one:
Proof that men are more romantic than women!
A spy agency had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
"The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife"
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the man came out with tears in his eyes: "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn....(Hang on...you KNEW this was coming!)
She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Don't start none...won't be none.
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
I pissed Sigette off yesterday....I gave my friend (who's engaged to be married) the line the guy uses on that new tv show(can't remember the name of it)....the one where he's telling a young guy:
"A man is inherently FUN by nature...A wife will take that fun, walk it deep in the woods.....and kill it"...HAHAHAHA
That RULED!!! but, I stayed in the dog house for a bit for it, and now I must atone for my transgression with dinner out...
but hey, that's a small price to pay for those laffs .....and I would probably tell it again...
"A man is inherently FUN by nature...A wife will take that fun, walk it deep in the woods.....and kill it"...HAHAHAHA
That RULED!!! but, I stayed in the dog house for a bit for it, and now I must atone for my transgression with dinner out...
but hey, that's a small price to pay for those laffs .....and I would probably tell it again...
Don't start none...won't be none.
