The Four Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were...
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat: "T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some
paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square,
and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart, but the Accountant said his cat could do better....
He called his cat, and said: "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned
with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles
of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good, but the Chemist said his cat could do better....
He called his cat, and said: "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of
milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured
exactly 8 ounces-without spilling a drop into the glass!
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee,
and said: "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat, and said:
"Coffee Break...do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet....(see below)
ate the cookies....
drank the milk....
sh*t on the paper....
made love to the other three cats....
claimed he injured his back while doing so,
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
put in for Workers Compensation...............and..........
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave 
AND
THAT'S WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT.......
......and mean.....and full of rottenness