The Joke thread

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:35 pm

bet the guys with the biggish 'lunchboxes' enjoyed wearing it

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:41 pm

Never heared of a, "Jonny Longshot", being called a "Lunchbox".....LMFAO!!!!!

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:29 pm

Never heard of a Jonny Longshot

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:09 pm

um...depends who's wearing it

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:10 pm

THESE GUYS....definitely NOT

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:36 pm

CygnusX1 wrote:um...depends who's wearing it

you've got me confused now

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:54 pm

spandex silly....men should never wear spandex...

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 3:22 pm

After the last child was born, the wife told me we had to cut back on expenses....

I had to give up drinking beer. (I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.)

Anyway, I gave it up...but I noticed the other day, when she came home from grocery shopping,
that the receipt included $45 in makeup.

I said, "Wait a minute! I've given up beer, and you haven't given up
anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back....

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 3:46 pm

ohhhhhh that was cruel

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:15 pm

I wouldn't be back.

But, I don't wear makeup, so.....

Here is a joke:

What do you get when you play new age music backwards?
--New age music

and another

How do you get a record company executive geek out of a tree?
--Cut the rope

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:34 am

it's a JOKE people!

I'm not really that way...you don't stay married 26 years acting like that...belie'dat playa

good one awip

Q: What happens when you play a country song backwards?

A: Your dog doesn't die, your wife comes home, you get your truck back, you make your house payment and you can suddenly drink without

in yer beer

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:02 am

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:48 am

CygnusX1 wrote:
Q: What happens when you play a country song backwards?

A: Your dog doesn't die, your wife comes home, you get your truck back, you make your house payment and you can suddenly drink without in yer beer

I used to play my C+W records backwards (mainly Kenny Rogers and The Statler Brothers) for my friends so they could hear the backmasting on them.

My friends claimed to really hear backmasting.

See? It wasn't just the rockers! Led Zepplin and The Beatles didn't have a corner on the Satan market!

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:47 am

okayokay....

A lawyer gets pulled over for apparently doing a "rolling stop" at an intersection...

The police officer gets outta his vehicle, approaches the driver, and asks him for ID, license, POI, etc....Then the officer asks, "Sir, do you know why I stopped you?"

The lawyer responds, "No officer...Why DID you pull me over?"

The officer responds, "I witnessed you slowing down-but not stopping for the stop sign right over there"....

The lawyer volleys back, "Officer, could you explain the difference between slowing down and stopping?"

"Yessir" The officer replied...."Step outta the vehicle, and I will demonstrate the concept for you"...

Being interested, the lawyer obliges the officer's request and exits his vehicle, where upon the officer proceeds to pummel him viciously with his billy club...

The lawyer, obvoiusly aware as to the apparent excessive use of force, yells "STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"

The officer retorted, "Do you want me to slow down or stop?"

(yeahyeah...it's an old one, but it's still got teeth

)

Middle Kingdom · Post by **Middle Kingdom** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:15 pm

Very <i> sharp </i>, sir.