By-Tor.com

It's all in the hair bub.

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden
leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another
nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note,
which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over
your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co

Walkinghairball wrote:A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden
leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another
nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note,
which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over
your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co

Bwahahahahaha Thanks again, Hairy

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Those were great, thanks buddy......

Now I have a question for you....

Why is there always a cock on top of a barn????

??? A bit to much

.... You still haven't answered my question, though....

cuz the barns to embarrassed to go on top....

schuette wrote:cuz the barns to embarrassed to go on top....

Nope.... it's because if there was a vagina on it.... the wind would blow right thru it..... (Had to use the right term as the "C" word may offend.... and I certainly don't wanna offend anyone...) plus I prolly woulda heard hell from Happy......

To tell the truth I copy and pasted all those jokes as I'm not really good at making up jokes.

To Quote Chief Engineer Mr. Scott.....................

"How the hell do you expect to be a miracle worker, if you keep giving away all of your trade secrets?"

Me wrote:To tell the truth I copy and pasted all those jokes as I'm not really good at making up jokes.

it's all right....if that was one that 3T made up he's not very good at it either

Whats the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

ewwwwwww