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Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:43 am
by CygnusX1
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
In response to a number of complaints that there are
not enough Black and Hispanic people appearing on TV.....
Fox Network has decided that, in the future...
"America's Most Wanted" will be shown
TWICE weekly.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled silliness.
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:08 am
by awip2062
ROFLMBO! Good ones, Guys!
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:14 am
by CygnusX1
awip2062 wrote:ROFLMBO! Good ones, Guys!
***takes a bow***
thanks t!
I'll be playing the Springfield Retirement Home 'till Easter....
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:16 am
by awip2062
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....just until Easter?
You aren't getting ready to kick the bucket, are you?
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:26 am
by CygnusX1
awip2062 wrote:Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....just until Easter?
You aren't getting ready to kick the bucket, are you?
I'm not
THAT OLD!
but I'm close...
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:29 pm
by T4EFAN
awip2062 wrote:Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....just until Easter?
You aren't getting ready to kick the bucket, are you?
We all know you're done on Good Friday.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:07 am
by Walkinghairball
I'm gonna put this in the political joke thread also. I want everyone to see it.
Choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. So one day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
a Bible,
a silver dollar,
a bottle of whisky
and a Playboy magazine
'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself, 'when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be.
And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum.'
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he
spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's centerfold.
'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered, 'He's gonna be a politician!'
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:38 am
by awip2062
Sadly, reminds me of some relative stories I have heard. Ugh.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:29 pm
by Soup4Rush
Almost seven years ago I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and
watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power.
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism as I watched George W.
Bush take his oath of office. However, all that pride quickly vanished as
I later watched the Clintons board Air Force One for the last time.
I saw 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute
to the outgoing President and first lady. It was then that I realized how
far America's military had deteriorated under the Clinton administration.
Every last one of them missed.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:33 pm
by awip2062
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man, that was funny!
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 12:35 pm
by CygnusX1
Marines don't miss, but it's still a good one Soup.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:17 pm
by Soup4Rush
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.
'Because I'm the guy who painted the picture,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all".
"They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:27 pm
by ElfDude
Soup4Rush wrote:At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'.
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.
'Because I'm the guy who painted the picture,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all".
"They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'
*groans*
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:53 pm
by Me
Those were all good many thanks to Hairy, Soup, Cygs and everyone that gives me a laugh each and everyday.
Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:10 am
by CygnusX1
Don't know about the others t, but it's my DUTY to make you smile.
Soup4Rush wrote:"They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'
HE SHOOTS - HE SCORES! LMAO