The Joke thread

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:06 am

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah be Praised!!"

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you, Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah is Great!!"

Pause: Static ............ *#%@*&#^<>@*#!!

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead, Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY AND GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE! INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?"

Devil's Advocate · Post by **Devil's Advocate** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:30 am

I thought this was the Joke thread

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:28 am

I bet the ait traffic controllers were wearing their Groucho Marx glasses.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:22 am

It IS the joke thread....I just don't remember seeing any PC screenings of the jokes!!...huh? whaaaat?

You should know that I AM NOT PC...I'm rude, crude and socially unacceptable

call me anything you want...just don't call me late for dinner

Devil's Advocate · Post by **Devil's Advocate** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:24 am

PC or not, that wasn't a joke.

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:38 am

Because you didn't laugh at it. Hell DA half of my jokes bomb too, but I still tell them.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cuz it was stapled to the Punk Rocker.

That joke sucks too, but it is still a joke.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:48 am

I respect your opinion DA, but there's an old saying that goes somethin' like this:

"opinions are just like anuses...everybody has one, and they all think the OTHER ONES stink"

we'll just have to agree-to-disagree on that joke...

Soup4Rush · Post by **Soup4Rush** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:28 am

CygnusX1 wrote:Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah be Praised!!"

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you, Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah is Great!!"

Pause: Static ............ *#%@*&#^<>@*#!!

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead, Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY AND GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE! INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?"

I thought it was funny!!!

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:32 am

Walkinghairball wrote:Because you didn't laugh at it. Hell DA half of my jokes bomb too, but I still tell them.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cuz it was stapled to the Punk Rocker.

That joke sucks too, but it is still a joke.

No, no, no, Bro. You got it all wrong. The chicken was safety pinned to the punker! *wink*

Devil's Advocate · Post by **Devil's Advocate** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 12:08 pm

Soup4Rush wrote:I thought it was funny!!!

Which bit? It's a (hopefully) fictional story about an air traffic controller setting two 'planes on a collision course, and then admitting to one of the pilots that it was deliberate. Where's the joke?

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 12:43 pm

ever get the feeling that, if it were raining females--you'd get one with a guy already on her? huh? what?

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:10 pm

That kinna gives new meaning to "Ridin the storm out."

Or "Riders on the storm."

Soup4Rush · Post by **Soup4Rush** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:12 pm

or landed on by the 400lb one.

Sigs, you need sensitvity training

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:22 pm

ya THINK???

kinda reminds me of when I was accused of not being a "team player" years ago....I told 'em:

your team sucks...trade me

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 2:16 pm

Siggy, ya crack me up!

Here is a joke I got from a friend.

A couple is going out for an evening on the town.

When they are almost ready to go, the wife tells her husband not to forget to put out the cat. However, after a Taxi arrives and as they go out the door the cat darts back in the house.

Not wanting the cat shut in the house while they are out the husband goes back in to get the cat as the wife goes and gets in the cab.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty while they are out, explains to the cab driver, "He is just going upstairs to say good-bye to mother."

A short time later the husband comes down and gets in the cab. He says, "Sorry it took so long but the stupid old thing was under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger!"