Mature Audiences only

[New World Man]

For Mature Audiences


1974: Long hair

2004: Longing for hair



1974: KEG

2004: EKG



1974: Acid rock

2004: Acid reflux



1974: Moving to California because it's cool

2004: Moving to California because it's warm



1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor



1974: Seeds and stems

2004: Roughage



1974: Hoping for a BMW

2004: Hoping for a BM



1974: The Grateful Dead

2004: Dr. Kevorkian



1974: Going to a new, hip joint

2004: Receiving a new hip joint



1974: Rolling Stones

2004: Kidney Stones



1974: Being called into the principal's office

2004: Calling the principal's office



1974: Buck the system

2004: Upgrade the system



1974: Disco

2004: Costco




1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved



1974: Passing the drivers' test

2004: Passing the vision test



1974: Whatever

2004: Depends



Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen.

Here's this year's list: The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?," "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, Boss, de plane."

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's sandwiches never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?

Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.

[Julie]

I stepped on my glasses not too long ago, so thanks for the large print.

[Me]

Where's my cane?

[Slaine mac Roth]

Where's my cane?

I'll let you borow my zimmer frame when I'm done with it.

[Walkinghairball]

I'm not sure, but I think I farted dust this morning.

[by-tor]

Here's this year's list: The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986.

I had already been in the military for a year.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

When I was born, man had not even walked on the moon yet, much less space shuttles

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

At least we older guys only had to worry about our 'equipment' falling off.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

Glad I didn't miss out on TIN cans and their pull tops that you could fling across the room.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

My first 'Walkman' was a transistor AM radio with one of those little single earpieces Later I had a 'portable' 8-track player that took 8 D-cell batteries.

They have always had an answering machine.

That was my mother's job.

They have always had cable.

We had three channels, and if it was cloudy, we put aluminum foil on the rabbit ears

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

We had one....it was one of those with a cord that went to a box attached to the TV, and when you pressed the ONE button, it would manually turn the channel knob

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

I guess that's better than Joan Rivers sitting in for Carson

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

Now this is a shame...no Jiffy Pop....no hot oil popped popcorn in a pot with the lid flying off.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

I wanted a bigger boat.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

I remember my mother spending about an hour each day cleaning hers.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

Nor do they remember the epic battle between Fonzie and Mork

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?," "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, Boss, de plane."

Or that Gilligan was a beatnik before being stranded on the Island.

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

Or how hot Victoria Principal used to be

McDonald's sandwiches never came in Styrofoam containers.

I acutally miss those.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Or what to do when the keys got stuck in the 'V'

[schuette]

thankfully I still feel young at heart

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

Glad I didn't miss out on TIN cans and their pull tops that you could fling across the room.

I loved doing that!!! I wish they would bring them back out and anyway the new way is unhygienic

[Slaine mac Roth]

Well they say you're only as young as the woman you feel which means my wife takes 12 years off me

[Tom Sawyer]

Hey, I'm not 40 yet damnit!

[Slaine mac Roth]

Hey, I'm not 40 yet damnit!

Neither am I