The Joke thread

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:46 pm

3 travelers wrote:
Walkinghairball wrote:Gaaaaaaah!
Unless you really want me to paddle yo' ass !

"Back away from the hairball"!!!!!!

3 travelers · Post by **3 travelers** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:47 pm

LMAO

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:00 am

I pay to see you's spank each other

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:08 am

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????"

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:09 am

schuette wrote:I pay to see you's spank each other

If you had that much money Schu you could come here and spank us yourself.

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:39 am

Walkinghairball wrote:Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????"

LOLOLOL!!!!!

hairy wrote:If you had that much money Schu you could come here and spank us yourself.

I'm starting to save up right now!!!

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 9:06 am

Excellent!!!

Me · Post by Me » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:08 am

This is a good one

http://www.grab.com/fun/specials/socialsecurity

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:51 am

hahahaha that was funny

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:33 am

DANG!!!!!!!!!!

Walkinghairball · Post by **Walkinghairball** » Tue May 03, 2005 3:50 pm

Prison vs Work

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make
things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON .........you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they are called managers.

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Wed May 04, 2005 8:32 am

hahahahahha..........that is so true

Me · Post by Me » Wed May 04, 2005 10:53 am

Towards the end of the golf course, Leon hit his ball
into the woods and
found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball
back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every
buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden.....POOF!! In a flash and puff of
smoke, a little old
woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you
know how long it took
me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any
butter for your
popcorn for the rest of your life...... better still,
you won't have any
butter for your toast for the rest of you r life......
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for
anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF!......she was gone!
After Leon recovered from the shock, he hollered for
his friend, "Stevie,
where are you?" Stevie yells back, "I'm over here in the
pussy willows."
Leon shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Stevie; for the love of
God, DON'T SWING!"

Me · Post by Me » Wed May 04, 2005 11:00 am

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

3 travelers · Post by **3 travelers** » Wed May 04, 2005 11:25 am

Me wrote:Towards the end of the golf course, Leon hit his ball
into the woods and
found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball
back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every
buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden.....POOF!! In a flash and puff of
smoke, a little old
woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you
know how long it took
me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any
butter for your
popcorn for the rest of your life...... better still,
you won't have any
butter for your toast for the rest of you r life......
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for
anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF!......she was gone!
After Leon recovered from the shock, he hollered for
his friend, "Stevie,
where are you?" Stevie yells back, "I'm over here in the
pussy willows."
Leon shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Stevie; for the love of
God, DON'T SWING!"

Have you inserted mine and hairy's name into the joke?

Good stuff bro!!