The Joke thread
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
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EJLUVSRUSH
- Posts: 267
- Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:38 pm
- Location: Spoooooookytown
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EJLUVSRUSH
- Posts: 267
- Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:38 pm
- Location: Spoooooookytown
A man and his wife were doing yard work. The husband said to his wife, "Gee, honey, your butt is as wide as the BBQ grill." The wife ignores his remark.
A little later, the husband, measuring tape in hand, walked over to his wife. While she was bending over to tend to her flower bed, he measured her back side. "Honey, your butt IS as wide as the grill!" She again ignores his remark.
Later that night, while in bed, the husband began to feel amorous. He starts to hug her and stroke her until the wife said, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you're out of your mind!!"
A little later, the husband, measuring tape in hand, walked over to his wife. While she was bending over to tend to her flower bed, he measured her back side. "Honey, your butt IS as wide as the grill!" She again ignores his remark.
Later that night, while in bed, the husband began to feel amorous. He starts to hug her and stroke her until the wife said, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you're out of your mind!!"
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"
And there was a hush you could hear a pin drop.
Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Nancy, I told you a hundred times....what we have is Blue Cross!"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"
And there was a hush you could hear a pin drop.
Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Nancy, I told you a hundred times....what we have is Blue Cross!"
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
OMG that was awful... 
A husband and wife were arguing one day, neither wanting to apologise first they stopped talking to each other.
When the husband got into bed he remembered he had an important business meeting and had to catch an early flight and needed to be up at 6 am the next morning. Not wanting to break the silence first he left a note for his wife on her bedside table where she couldn't miss it. Ir read, " Please wake me at 6 am" he smiled thinking he was very clever and went to sleep
Then next morning he woke up to discover it was 9am and he had missed his flight. He was furious that his wife hadn't woken him. As he was getting up he looked on his bedside table. On it was a note that read " It's 6am - wake up!!!!"
When the husband got into bed he remembered he had an important business meeting and had to catch an early flight and needed to be up at 6 am the next morning. Not wanting to break the silence first he left a note for his wife on her bedside table where she couldn't miss it. Ir read, " Please wake me at 6 am" he smiled thinking he was very clever and went to sleep
Then next morning he woke up to discover it was 9am and he had missed his flight. He was furious that his wife hadn't woken him. As he was getting up he looked on his bedside table. On it was a note that read " It's 6am - wake up!!!!"
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Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Raiden wrote:I didn't get it.Walkinghairball wrote:Raiden wrote:Umm...okay
^^^^
Um..............ok.
What, you didn't get it, or is it a little too.......... ahem...........colorful?
Old folk..........hard of hearing.............she said, "Intercourse", he said, "No.........Blue Cross."
(Yeah, it is a lame rhyme)
*Side note: Blue Cross is an Insurance thinger.*
And there you have it.
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