LOL I was kidding!Raiden wrote:How can you be so sure that's Alex Lifeson?
Thoughts, Theories and Ponderables
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
I was riding to work yesterday....
When I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck,
causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver - enough that he hung his arm out his
window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. (I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic.)
And here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8-LANE DEATH STRIP called I-95.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons,
and this number is increasing.
That means that:
EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least ONE female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed....
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.
When I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck,
causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver - enough that he hung his arm out his
window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. (I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic.)
And here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8-LANE DEATH STRIP called I-95.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons,
and this number is increasing.
That means that:
EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least ONE female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed....
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.
Don't start none...won't be none.
-
Sir Myghin
- Posts: 9148
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:12 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Properly understand statistcs, I don't think soCygnusX1 wrote:I was riding to work yesterday....
When I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck,
causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver - enough that he hung his arm out his
window and gave the woman the finger.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. (I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic.)
And here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper traffic is on an 8-LANE DEATH STRIP called I-95.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons,
and this number is increasing.
That means that:
EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least ONE female that
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed....
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.
(just razzing you, good one)-
Sir Myghin
- Posts: 9148
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:12 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
-
Big Blue Owl
- Posts: 7457
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:31 am
- Location: Somewhere between the darkness and the light
BEST LAWYER/INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR,
DECADE, AND QUITE POSSIBLY - THIS CENTURY:
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars,
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason
(that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion).
The lawyer sued - and WON!
(Stay with me....wait for it....wait for it)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
held apolicy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars
were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against
fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and
was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for
his loss of the cigars that perished in the "fires."
NOW - FOR THE KICKER:
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000
fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!
(NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE WHACK.)
DECADE, AND QUITE POSSIBLY - THIS CENTURY:
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars,
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason
(that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion).
The lawyer sued - and WON!
(Stay with me....wait for it....wait for it)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
held apolicy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars
were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against
fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and
was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for
his loss of the cigars that perished in the "fires."
NOW - FOR THE KICKER:
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000
fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!
(NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE WHACK.)
Oh that is killer! Way to go! About time some real justice was served up to someone who wanted to get something at another's expense!CygnusX1 wrote:BEST LAWYER/INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR,
DECADE, AND QUITE POSSIBLY - THIS CENTURY:
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars,
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason
(that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion).
The lawyer sued - and WON!
(Stay with me....wait for it....wait for it)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
held apolicy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars
were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against
fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and
was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for
his loss of the cigars that perished in the "fires."
NOW - FOR THE KICKER:
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000
fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!
(NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE WHACK.)