A man went to a dentist one day for a regular check up. The dentist decided that one tooth was in such bad condition that it should be extracted. The dentist advised the man of the situation who agreed to the procedure.
When the dentist went to give the man an injection the man said "don't worry, I don't need an injection". The dentist went on to explain that the procedure could be very painful however the patient insisted that he would be OK without a needle. The patient went on to explain that he had two experiences in recent times that had made him immune to pain so the dentist went ahead and extracted the tooth. To the dentist's amazement the guy didn't even wince.
The dentist, quite astonished remarked " that was amazing, the two recent experiences you say you had that made you immune to pain must have been something special, would you care to tell me about them".
The man said "sure, one day I was out hunting and suddenly had an overwhelming urge to evacuate my bowels. I ducked behind a bush and squatted down and my scrotum landed squarely on the trigger of a rabbit trap and CRUNCH!!". The dentist exclaimed "oh my god, that must have been excruciating but what was the second experience". The man replied, "When I ran out of chain."
The Joke thread
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
-
ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:19 pm
- Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills
- Contact:
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each
child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up
with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually
done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these
keep in mind that these are first graders... "6" year-olds, because the last
one is a classic!
Better to be safe than...................................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the...........................................bug is close.
It's always darkest before.............................Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of................termites.
You can lead a horse to water but................how?
Don't bite the hand that................................looks dirty.
No news is..................................................impossible.
A miss is as good as a.................................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new...................math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...................stink in the morning.
Love all, trust..............................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.........................pigs.
An idle mind is............................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.................... pollution.
Happy the bride who...................................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is.........................................not much.
Two's company, three's...............................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
.................you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as..........................Stevie Wonder
If at first you don't succeed.........................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you..... see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind.................get out of the way.
Children should be seen and not ................spanked or grounded.
And the favorite:
Better late than...........................................pregnant!
child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up
with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually
done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these
keep in mind that these are first graders... "6" year-olds, because the last
one is a classic!
Better to be safe than...................................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the...........................................bug is close.
It's always darkest before.............................Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of................termites.
You can lead a horse to water but................how?
Don't bite the hand that................................looks dirty.
No news is..................................................impossible.
A miss is as good as a.................................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new...................math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...................stink in the morning.
Love all, trust..............................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.........................pigs.
An idle mind is............................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.................... pollution.
Happy the bride who...................................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is.........................................not much.
Two's company, three's...............................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
.................you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as..........................Stevie Wonder
If at first you don't succeed.........................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you..... see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind.................get out of the way.
Children should be seen and not ................spanked or grounded.
And the favorite:
Better late than...........................................pregnant!
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Goldfish joke
Two Australian builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Phil: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
Two Australian builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Phil: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Phil: - Me? Never.
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
This space for rent
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Orlando's LOVESLAVE
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2004 8:32 pm
- Location: Confused state of mind.
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE
FAST ANYMORE
GEORGE PHILLIPS of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up
to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden
shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
GEORGE opened the back door to go turn off the light
but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your
house?' and he said 'no'. Then the officer said that all patrols were
busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be
along when available.
GEORGE said, 'Okay', hung up. counted to 30, and phoned
the police again.
'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because
there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have
to worry about them now because I've just shot them'. Then hung up
the phone.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed
Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and
caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policeman said to George, 'I thought you
said that you'd shot them !
GEORGE said, 'I thought you said there was nobody
available !'
Don't Mess with Old People.
FAST ANYMORE
GEORGE PHILLIPS of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up
to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden
shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
GEORGE opened the back door to go turn off the light
but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your
house?' and he said 'no'. Then the officer said that all patrols were
busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be
along when available.
GEORGE said, 'Okay', hung up. counted to 30, and phoned
the police again.
'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because
there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have
to worry about them now because I've just shot them'. Then hung up
the phone.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed
Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and
caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policeman said to George, 'I thought you
said that you'd shot them !
GEORGE said, 'I thought you said there was nobody
available !'
Don't Mess with Old People.
-
Big Blue Owl
- Posts: 7457
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:31 am
- Location: Somewhere between the darkness and the light
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Why Men Wear Earrings....
A man is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)
A man is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)
This space for rent
How many Christians does it take to change a light
bulb?
Charismatic: Only. 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3. One to call the electrician, one to
mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better
the old one was.
Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives
to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb
for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring
a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service
and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five
men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
bulb?
Charismatic: Only. 1 Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb,
and three committees to approve the change and decide
who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3. One to call the electrician, one to
mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better
the old one was.
Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives
to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb
for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is
bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring
a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service
and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five
men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Onward and Upward!
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Hey Cyg, this joke is for you bruddah. If It's been posted before, oh well.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
'The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'
'1955, ma'am.
'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!'
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
'The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'
'1955, ma'am.
'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!'
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'
This space for rent
BECAUSE I'M A MAN:
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these, things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, I will never stop and ask for directions, even when I know I am totally lost. If I eventually do stop for directions at the constant urging of my wife, I will go so far as to argue with the person helping me informing them that they are incorrect and that their directions are wrong and stupid.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these, things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, I will never stop and ask for directions, even when I know I am totally lost. If I eventually do stop for directions at the constant urging of my wife, I will go so far as to argue with the person helping me informing them that they are incorrect and that their directions are wrong and stupid.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Sound verbalized tones touch textured feel scent wafted aroma see visualize observe sing dance live
SENIORS GIVING BIRTH
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a
65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home,
her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for
awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we
see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had belapsed, they asked again:
"May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see
the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?"
They demanded: "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, OKAY!"
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a
65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home,
her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked.
Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for
awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we
see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had belapsed, they asked again:
"May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see
the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?"
They demanded: "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, OKAY!"
Don't start none...won't be none.
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
The population of the USA is 300 million.
Of that, 160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million currently in school....
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 35 million employed by the federal government....
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with others' freedom...
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Subtract from that, the total of 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
That leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time, there are 188,000 people in hospitals....
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Today, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work....
You and me.
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer.....reading jokes.
Nice......Real nice.
Of that, 160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million currently in school....
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 35 million employed by the federal government....
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with others' freedom...
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Subtract from that, the total of 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
That leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time, there are 188,000 people in hospitals....
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Today, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work....
You and me.
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer.....reading jokes.
Nice......Real nice.
Don't start none...won't be none.
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ElfDude
- Posts: 11085
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:19 pm
- Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills
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LOL!!!
I was trying to figure out how there could be some people around me here at my job who are also doing the work. Then I remembered that half of the people in prisons are illegal immigrants that weren't counted in the first number. So there are acutally about 600,000 people to do the work.
I was trying to figure out how there could be some people around me here at my job who are also doing the work. Then I remembered that half of the people in prisons are illegal immigrants that weren't counted in the first number. So there are acutally about 600,000 people to do the work.
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?